Monday, November 24, 2008

What if we loved?

What interesting concept blogging is.
You could journal... a private conversation between you and God or you and "diary."
Why is it that we feel compelled to write... desiring others to read?
It possibly could be for encouragement... something exciting happened and you want to tell others.
But I don't think that is the root of blogging.
I think it is our innate desire to be recognized... to not feel alone.
We feel we have a connection to the outside world... the internet bloggisphere of human connectivity.
We hold out hope that someone somewhere is reading what we wrote... and emphathizes... connects with us.
The need of human companionship has been in since the beginning.
Even God said, "Man was not meant to be alone."
God out of His great and infinite love created man... companions... something to love and to be loved by.
If we are created in His image... created through His love... a love that had to create in order to be love... we must love.
We need connection.
We need to not feel alone.
Perhaps that is a draw of the facebook and myspace... knowing that at any moment you can log on and not "be alone."
When loneliness clouds your heart and mind.
When you feel so desperately alone...
know that God loves you.
He created you and desires an intimate relationship with you.
It is awful the way we treat each other... how humanity has distorted love.

We murder, lie, steal, manipulate, and destroy... what if we loved?
Children are dying in Africa because they have no food... what if we loved?
Sex trafficking occurs world wide... what God meant as an expression of love... has been turned into a compulsive means of satisfying lust and exerting control over another human being... what if we loved?
Depression is one of the highest reasons for suicide among teens... what if we loved?
Divorce is on the rise... what if we loved?
People visit a church... and are judged for their past, their looks, or their lifestyle... what if we loved?

Christ loved.
He brought hope to needy, hurting, and lonely.
He didn't waste His time catering to the religious.
He discipled the committed.
He devoted his life to the helpless and the trapped.
He sacrificed his life for all... no exceptions... no stipulations.

What if we loved?

Monday, November 3, 2008

When you're too in love to let it go... But if you never try you'll never know"

a random blog for a friend... i think you know who you are.
may these words minister to your soul... and know that I have been there.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
"Just what your worth"

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...

Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.


Saturday, October 18, 2008

i once had a friend.
he's a writer.
he used to just write down his thoughts.
a stream of consciousness...

the night has fallen.
the freeway in the distance makes a subtle roar.
my thoughts plague me.
awake in the silence of my head.
my life is a vapor.
time is short.
the dull glow of the screen.

where do I go from here?

Sunday, June 22, 2008


i had a startling reminder this weekend... that when God and I aren't right... it affects every aspect of my life. God is my foundation... the rock on which my life is built on... how vain am I to think that if I neglect to maintain that foundation that I can hold my life together? When friendships get overwhelming... its prolly because my focus has turned from God as the center. Time to refocus... I need my God-tinted glasses on when I look at the world.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

dreams, purpose, reality

At the moment I am sitting at my favorite coffee shop down in Seal Beach. It is a wonderful june gloom morning. I just finished building a sand castle, complete with five towers and a dollar bill flag which I left to see who would take it first: a poor surfer or a curious seagull. My guess is that it will be used to buy a breakfast burrito or something. [By this time you are probably wondering where the point of this blog lies. Don’t worry I will get to that eventually.]
Whether you are working a job or completing summer school, I do encourage you to take some time and enjoy a sunset, hike a mountain, or watch the waves roll in at the ocean. As I have gotten older (22 this month actually) I have realized the importance of taking time to breath in God’s creation. If you are wondering what heaven will be like, just look around at the things that God already created and then imagine that 200 times better. It is also easier to hear God’s voice when we silence the distractions of the world and surround ourselves with peaceful reminders of God’s love. At our age, an important question we are asking, is “why the heck am I here?” What is my purpose? Is there even such a thing as a purpose? People want to know what you are going to do with your life? what are your dreams? And I find myself wondering if the dreams and promises that I feel God has given me will ever happen, or are my dreams wishful whims that exist far from reality?
Do you remember King David from the Bible? Or maybe you know him better as David and Goliath, the boy who slayed the giant. Anyways I was reading through the book of Samuel the other day and God showed me some interesting observations about this young man’s life. First of all, David was the least in his father’s eyes, a Shepard not worthy of even being mentioned to Samuel who came looking to anoint Israel’s new king. David’s father Jesse brought all his brother’s before Samuel, but Samuel after checking all of them out did not hear God’s prodding to anoint them king. When they grabbed David from the field (probably smelling like sheep) Samuel clearly heard God saying that David would be the new king. From that day God placed a dream in David’s heart, a purpose: that he would lead a nation and be king over Israel. I am sure David after a week of going back with the sheep was ready to assume his new leadership role, but instead he tended sheep for years after. Not only that, he was still looked down upon by his brothers and family. Even after David slayed Goliath, his life is was no walk in the park. He still spent years running for his life being hated by current king, who sought to kill David with hateful fervor. He lost his best friend, lived as a refugee, and often had no one there to support him. “David’s position was desperate. He has only one precious asset: God’s promise that he will be king.” I don’t know about you, but I would have given up on that dream and figured God changed his mind or had other plans for me. Perhaps I would have thought up my own way of becoming king. But not david. “Although circumstances tested his faith in that promise to the extreme, David learns to wait for God’s timing. In the end… David inherits the throne of Israel at last.” Although it may have seemed like the dreams David was given by God would never happen, David persevered and continued to have faith. And God never changed his mind, instead he came through on the promise he gave David years before.
At first this story might be kind of depressing to think about. You may be thinking, “does that mean that in order for God to fulfill the dream in my heart I have to go through hell on earth first?” Maybe, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel: God always keeps his promises. If we align ourselves with his word, he will always fulfill the dreams he has placed in our heart, just maybe not the way we think he will. David later writes in one of the many psalms,

Psalm 20

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.

3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.

4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.

5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.

6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.

9 O LORD, save the king!
Answer [a] us when we call!

I don’t know about you, but I know that God is in control and that is enough for me to keep pressing on.

Monday, May 26, 2008


This weekend something I have been praying about turned out in my favor. My instant reaction is... "God answers prayer!" But as I have been thinking about it I have come to realize that God always answers prayer.... it just may not turn out the way we thought it would. How selfish am I only to thank God for "answering prayer" when it turns out my way? If I only I could see clearly all the time, and give God the thanks He deserves just for being who He is...

"Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchlessin every way."

Sunday, May 11, 2008

father we will lead them home...

There are many prodigal sons
On our city streets they run
Searching for shelter
There are homes broken down
People’s hopes have fallen to the ground
From failures

This is an emergency!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

There are schools full of hatred
Even churches have forsaken
Love and mercy
May we see this generation
In it’s state of desperation
For Your glory

This is an emergency!

Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!

And all Your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

~Leeland; "Tears of the Saints"

i walk down another street...

taken from a friend who is learning to avoid the chasm that so easily consumes.

Autobiography In Five Short Chapters

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

- Portia Nelson

Friday, May 9, 2008

it's easier to be broken...

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the scar that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Like being in love to feel for the first time

Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Like being in love to feel for the first time

~lifehouse; "first time"

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


Matthew 25:31-46
31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' 37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' 40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' 41 "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' 44 "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' 45 "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' 46 "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Monday, May 5, 2008

unwritten day...

the sun is breaking
a deep crisp air envelopes
the dark gloomy skies

my heart is restless
a new week is dawning
it is yet to be written

the sand is sifting
waiting to be turned
but before it empties
new lessons will be learned


"This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 118:24

Sunday, May 4, 2008

powerful potent purple berries...

i tried this smoothie thing the other day...
ya pretty much almost died!
my chest started hurting... and my throat felt like it was swelling.
lesson learned: no more berry drinks from the amazon!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008


"for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

oh there was an action... a very strong action.
and then there was a reaction.
my reaction.
first pain.
then heartache.
i thought i was healed.
i thought it was over...
but i think i merely numbed the pain.
because now i don't feel.
i feel nothing at all... except this numbing sensation that won't go away.
it's time to let go.
it's time to heal.
i want to love...
a deep soulful love.
i want to cry...
a cry from the heart...
the heart i don't feel.
i want to laugh...
till i can't even stand.
the feelings are gone...
they don't even sting.
Lord... am i numb to you to?
restore my emotion...
restore my heart.
it is out of my grasp...
the desire is there.
i just can't reach it on my own.
it's time to peel back the layers...
and expose the raw.
i want to be real.
wash over me with Your love.
so that i may heal.

Monday, April 28, 2008

progress and then some

"We've all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then go to go forward does not get you any nearer to the place you where you want to be. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man... there is nothing progressive about being pig headed and refusing to admit a mistake."
~C.S. Lewis; Mere Christianity

How many times have i kept going in the same direction, stayed the course on the same path, when I knew I was making a mistake but going back would have been too difficult? How many opportunities did I miss out on because I was spending so much time on the wrong road? I think back tracking can be humbling... but then again we want to progress on our journey... we often want to go forward, but as Lewis said, progress means going forward in the RIGHT direction, not just going forward.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

happy 100 blog views...

so i guess my blog has been viewed 100 times... 20 of which have been my own. haha.
but anyways. cheers to blogging! today was a good day.

God is constantly reminding me of His love and the importance of my relationship with Him.

"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

~Hillsong United; From the Inside Out

Friday, April 18, 2008

the root of peace...

"In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us- that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people whom God is everything and for whom God is enough. That is the root of peace."
~Brennan Manning; The Ragamuffin Gospel

Do you ever wonder why we pray? I mean if God is already in charge and looking out for our best interest, why do we have to ask? I think prayer is really for us... not for God. He already knows our hearts. But when we leave our cares and concerns at his feet, it frees us up to serve him and also leaves room for him to prove himself all the more faithful in our lives.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

the joy of being a kid...

bubble guns.
sippy cups.
sidewalk chalk.
dragon slayers and princesses.
hide 'n' seek.
today was a good day.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

how far we've come...

So April 2007 of last year...seems like a decade ago. I was browsing through old photos and realizing what I different place I am in today. I was weak and frail... and very broken a year ago. I had no idea who I was or even where I was headed. I didn't have time to think about others because I was too busy worrying about myself. Its humbling to reflect and see the change that God has done in my heart this last year... last two years. Not only has he picked up the pieces, put it back together, but he has transformed it as well. I am not weak anymore... because he is my strength. I am broken, but not the same way I was before. I know who I am in Christ. And although I may not always know where I am headed, I have purpose and a passion to live that was not there before. I will be the first to testify to the fact that God knows our hearts better than we do. He knows what we need when we need it. And he also has the power to pull us through the deepest darkest parts of depression. When you are weak and your soul feels all alone... and the darkness overwhelms you... hold on to the Hope we have in Jesus. Don't let it go... you may feel like there is no end... like death has encompassed your heart... but just remember the battle has already been won! Death has been overcome...

Romans 8:37
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."

Monday, April 14, 2008

" ...everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside me looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
And I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before.
And i've been standing on the edge of me
Standing on the edge..."

~switchfoot; on fire

Give me the wisdom needed to make decisions. Hope to press on. Compassion to reach out to others. Peace to make it through each day. I want to approach life with the faith of a child and the wisdom of the aged. Lord with you I am complete.

Friday, April 11, 2008

trust... to let go or to hold on

photo credit: rainbowdrop

googled the word trust and came up with an array of different websites from wikipedia to megadeth to some site about Plato.
what i really wanted was a good, quality deifinition of the word.
i guess i needed to be more specific in my searching... "trust definition" rendered me the webster's dictionary site.
perfect! now I was on my way to a quality definition.
do you know that trust is both a noun and a verb?
i tend to think of trust more as a verb:

1 a: to place confidence : depend
b: to be confident : hope
2 a: to commit or place in one's care or keeping : entrust
b: to permit to stay or go or to do something without fear or misgiving
3 a: to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of : believe
b: to place confidence in : rely on
c: to hope or expect confidently
(closely relate words: depend, hope, believe, rely on)

ever met anyone with trust issues?
you know the one who does everything on their own...
someone who doesn't generally take help from people...
struggles with letting someone close to them...
someone who approaches any type of relationship with a leery eye and a pessimistic attitude of abandonment?

i tend to think that to be like this a defense mechanism.
In Proverbs 4:23 it says, "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."
so at some point our heart guard was down... and someone took advantage of that... and hurt was rendered.
and just like any verse in the Bible... this one was accurate.
Your heart truly is the wellspring of life.
Because when that hurt was rendered your whole life fell apart... and deep sorrow replaced any former existence of life.

But perhaps you were like me... and you learned to depend on God and as he promises, restored life to your soul.
And then the trust journey with God begins.
I think thats probably where I am.
Learning what trust really looks like.
Trusting God means to...
depend on Him
hope in the things he has promised
believe that what he says is true
and to rely on Him to guide your steps

how do you know that you are doing these things?
how do you know you are truly trusting God?
I think it comes down to being content.
If I am content in where God has me at the current moment, lacking worry, without anxiety...
if I am not constantly trying to do things on my own and figure it out for myself, then I am trusting him.

so when discontentment fills my heart or when frustration with life's situations takes control of my mind...
i have to let go... i can't hold on to my life, to my worries, to my anxieties.

why is so difficult to let go? so difficult to take the chains off... to embrace freedom?
perhaps the chains are comfortable.. they feel safe and secure.
to be free may feel like you are floundering on your own.
But remember that you are not on your own and that God is in control...
to trust him.

Sunday, April 6, 2008


today i feel like fading into the background.
being somewhere where nobody knows me.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

the art of guarding your heart...

guarding your heart.

at first this sounds simple.
but as you experience life you begin to realize that maybe it is not as easy as it sounds.
i'm not going to speak in generic hypotheticals.
i can only right about what I have personally experienced in this area (of course leaving out all the gory dramatic details)
Here is the situation: past relationship goes really wrong.
hurt happens.
lessons are learned.
you grow from it and you move on.
(sounds pretty alright so far)
you build up walls. but not big fortressy walls... just ones that will keep your heart from mortal danger.
the question is... how do you know when to let those walls down?
to let someone see into who you are?
how can you guard your heart... but still be vulnerable?
because I am pretty good at faking vulnerabilty... this is a real issue for me.
i want to be real and genuine... and for the most part I am.
but part of me is held back.
which I don't necessarily think is a bad thing.
but I don't want to give the wrong impression of who I am.
geez... i don't even really know how to vocalize this.

here is what I have found that God's word says about guarding your heart:

it is commanded:
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

I understand the wellspring of life part. but what about the command to guard your heart?
it doesn't say how.

then if you flip ahead a few thousand years you can read this:
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

well that makes it more clear. it basically says that God guards our hearts and our minds if we pray and leave our worries at his feet.

SWEET! That means it is up to God to protect my heart and mind. I just have to keep focused on Him and He will fill me with His peace.

SO I guess that means if I am trusting God and seeking His will... He will fill me with his peace and will guard my heart and my mind. its like prayer... peace... protection.

I know I am stuggling not with guarding my heart... but trusting you. Lord you do not work within human parameters and for that I am thankful. Please help me to trust you with my life and my heart. I know you are in control and for for that I am humbly grateful. in Jesus precious name. Amen.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Curious George??

so this blog is going to seem kind of random in comparison to the others... but oh well. I have a new all time favorite movie: Curious George! I love it. It really captures the books I read as a child... and the music is great: Jack Johnson. I highly recommend this cute little tale about a curious little monkey. I could watch it over and over :)

fear is lost in all you are.

Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all you are

And I would give the world to tell you're story
'Cause I know that you've called me
I know that you've called me
I've lost myself for good within your promise
And I won't hide it
I won't hide it

Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go, to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you alone are the son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God


These words capture exactly what I am feeling right now. There isn't much else to say.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

pushpin prose

so it all started when i started thinking about life.
don't almost all thinking tangents begin that way?

anyways... i was thinking about how i don't want to be STUCK in a place.
i don't mean not having any commitments, because those are important...
i just don't want to be somewhere where i become stale... unchallenged... STUCK.
then i got to thinking... well it is important to be a little stuck... what kind of stuck do i want to be.

superglue: definitely not. once your in a place... there is no unstucking. i think that God didn't create us to be stuck quite that much. think about it... he had Abraham just pick up everything and go in the middle of his life... Abraham was definitely not superglued down.

masking tape: my next thought was to move to some sort of temporary stucking. Masking tape... you can use it again and it definitely isn't permanent. But then it is easily ripped off, especially if a big gust of wind comes.... I don't want to be blown about by the wind!! Plus you reuse masking tape like twice and then its all unsticky and unusable. NO!! masking tape is not what I want to be.

staple: well the benefits of being a staple is that it is firmly in place and it does leave a mark wherever it goes. But there is a problem with being like a staple: you can't be reused.

pushpin: well... a pushpin is temporary, but definitely more sturdy than masking tape.It can be reused over and over again. And most importantly it leaves a mark wherever it goes. So it's decided I want to stuck... like pushpin. I want to be in a place effectively working for God but ready and willing to go and do anything that he asks. And if that time comes, I want to have left an impact on the place I am leaving. (I think I want to be a PINK push pin...hehe)

Lord, I know that I am still trying to figure out who I am in this world. And who you want me to be. I am filled with dreams and desires that have been put there by you. Lord help me to be effective in the place that I am at. Help me to be content so that I can truly focus on doing your will. But God please do not allow me to be STUCK. Father give me the courage to act in faith and to follow wherever you lead. Thank you for the abundant blessings you have poured out over my life and thank you for always being faithful. Lord please give me a heart like yours, one that aches for the lost. Fill me with humility so that I may serve you. Thank you for sending your peace into my heart. And thank you for being my one true love.

In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day

"If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:15-18

Perfect love casts out all fear. As you grow in a relationship with God... the end result is fearlessness!!!!

Mark Batterson, in his book, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, makes these very important points:

1. Goodness is not the absence of badness. You can do nothing wrong and still do nothing right. Our calling is much higher than simply running away from what's wrong. We are called to chase lions (2 Samuel 23:20-21)- look for opportunities in our problems and obstacles, and take risks to reach for God's best.

2. When we read scripture, our brains are rewired in alignment with the Word, and we develop the mind of Christ.

3. Opportunities often look like insurmountable obstacles.

4. Someday we may be as grateful for the bad things as the good things, because the bad things helped prepare for the good things.

5. We should stop asking God to get us out of difficult circumstances and start asking Him what He wants us to get out of those difficult circumstances.

6. Prayers is less about changing our circumstances and more about changing our perspective.

7. Sometimes taking a calculated risk means giving up something good so you can experience something great.

8. We won' regret the mistakes we made as much as the God ordained opportunities we missed.

"We try to be too reasonable about what we believe. What I believe is not reasonable at all. In fact, it's hilariously impossible. Possible things aren't worth much. These crazy impossible things keep us going." ~Madeline L'Engle

Monday, March 24, 2008

Burn in me...

sometimes... my mind is unsettled.
sometimes... i can only express myself through the lyrics of another.

The Glorious Unseen
"Burn in Me"

Fire of God
Burn in me
Capture my heart again
Pull me through
Make me clean
I'm reaching for your love

Come carry me now
I'm crying out
For someone I can not see
Come carry me now
I'm crying

How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love excepts me as I am

Breathe of God
Breath on me
Hold me in your hands
Take my life
This offering
And use me where I am

Come carry me now
I'm crying out
For someone I can not see
Come carry me now
I'm crying

How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love excepts me as I am

How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love excepts me as I am

Come burn in me
Come burn in me
Come burn in me
Burn in me

knowing vs. feeling

Romans 7:14-25a

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Paul raises an important point here.
"For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
he says that there is a war waging in our minds.
that is how i feel.
a mind an soul constantly at war, within myself.
every once in a while there is brief reprieve... a chance to breath.
but then once again the war wages on.

Praise God that with Him, there is victory.
but for now the war wages on.

Peace... is not felt. It is known. I know I have peace that is beyond understanding...
and even if I don't FEEL peace.
I KNOW I have it.

Philippians 4:6-7
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by PRAYER and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Sunday, March 23, 2008


you ever get so caught up in your own life...
worrying about how God is going to fix this or that...
constantly focusing on how you are going to get through the next day?

and then God is like... BLAM!!
He sends you a wake up call.
makes you see that to be like Christ...
is to be selfless.
To not worry about oneself...
but to live for others.
Yes prayer for your own life is important.
But I know I get so caught up in the "woe is me" mantra... so self consumed.

There are hurting people out there.
People that I have direct contact with... that if i would only stop whining about my own life...
i would see their very real pain.
How utterly selfish that I get so blinded with my own cares and concerns...
my life is not bad.
It's great actually.
I am confident in Christ.
I have Hope.
Hope that people need.

God forgive me for not seeing people like you do.
Forgive my selfish "what's in it for me mindset."

Lord change my heart and help me see people the way you do.
Please give me a heart like yours.
A heart for the hurting, lost, and hopeless.

Friday, March 21, 2008

welcome to the bloggisphere...

so today i am trying to get some homework done.
i don't feel like being deep or passionate or doing anything actually...
except maybe jump into my car and take off...
for who knows where.
similar to donald miller in his book Through Painted Deserts.
I am reminded of the words of Brennan Manning in Ragamuffin Gospel:

"In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us- that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people whom God is everything and for whom God is enough. That is the root of peace."