Wednesday, March 26, 2008

pushpin prose

so it all started when i started thinking about life.
don't almost all thinking tangents begin that way?

anyways... i was thinking about how i don't want to be STUCK in a place.
i don't mean not having any commitments, because those are important...
i just don't want to be somewhere where i become stale... unchallenged... STUCK.
then i got to thinking... well it is important to be a little stuck... what kind of stuck do i want to be.

superglue: definitely not. once your in a place... there is no unstucking. i think that God didn't create us to be stuck quite that much. think about it... he had Abraham just pick up everything and go in the middle of his life... Abraham was definitely not superglued down.

masking tape: my next thought was to move to some sort of temporary stucking. Masking tape... you can use it again and it definitely isn't permanent. But then it is easily ripped off, especially if a big gust of wind comes.... I don't want to be blown about by the wind!! Plus you reuse masking tape like twice and then its all unsticky and unusable. NO!! masking tape is not what I want to be.

staple: well the benefits of being a staple is that it is firmly in place and it does leave a mark wherever it goes. But there is a problem with being like a staple: you can't be reused.

pushpin: well... a pushpin is temporary, but definitely more sturdy than masking tape.It can be reused over and over again. And most importantly it leaves a mark wherever it goes. So it's decided I want to stuck... like pushpin. I want to be in a place effectively working for God but ready and willing to go and do anything that he asks. And if that time comes, I want to have left an impact on the place I am leaving. (I think I want to be a PINK push pin...hehe)

Lord, I know that I am still trying to figure out who I am in this world. And who you want me to be. I am filled with dreams and desires that have been put there by you. Lord help me to be effective in the place that I am at. Help me to be content so that I can truly focus on doing your will. But God please do not allow me to be STUCK. Father give me the courage to act in faith and to follow wherever you lead. Thank you for the abundant blessings you have poured out over my life and thank you for always being faithful. Lord please give me a heart like yours, one that aches for the lost. Fill me with humility so that I may serve you. Thank you for sending your peace into my heart. And thank you for being my one true love.

In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day

"If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:15-18

Perfect love casts out all fear. As you grow in a relationship with God... the end result is fearlessness!!!!

Mark Batterson, in his book, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, makes these very important points:

1. Goodness is not the absence of badness. You can do nothing wrong and still do nothing right. Our calling is much higher than simply running away from what's wrong. We are called to chase lions (2 Samuel 23:20-21)- look for opportunities in our problems and obstacles, and take risks to reach for God's best.

2. When we read scripture, our brains are rewired in alignment with the Word, and we develop the mind of Christ.

3. Opportunities often look like insurmountable obstacles.

4. Someday we may be as grateful for the bad things as the good things, because the bad things helped prepare for the good things.

5. We should stop asking God to get us out of difficult circumstances and start asking Him what He wants us to get out of those difficult circumstances.

6. Prayers is less about changing our circumstances and more about changing our perspective.

7. Sometimes taking a calculated risk means giving up something good so you can experience something great.

8. We won' regret the mistakes we made as much as the God ordained opportunities we missed.

"We try to be too reasonable about what we believe. What I believe is not reasonable at all. In fact, it's hilariously impossible. Possible things aren't worth much. These crazy impossible things keep us going." ~Madeline L'Engle

Monday, March 24, 2008

Burn in me...

sometimes... my mind is unsettled.
sometimes... i can only express myself through the lyrics of another.

The Glorious Unseen
"Burn in Me"

Fire of God
Burn in me
Capture my heart again
Pull me through
Make me clean
I'm reaching for your love

Come carry me now
I'm crying out
For someone I can not see
Come carry me now
I'm crying

How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love excepts me as I am

Breathe of God
Breath on me
Hold me in your hands
Take my life
This offering
And use me where I am

Come carry me now
I'm crying out
For someone I can not see
Come carry me now
I'm crying

How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love excepts me as I am

How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love excepts me as I am

Come burn in me
Come burn in me
Come burn in me
Burn in me

knowing vs. feeling

Romans 7:14-25a

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Paul raises an important point here.
"For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
he says that there is a war waging in our minds.
that is how i feel.
a mind an soul constantly at war, within myself.
every once in a while there is brief reprieve... a chance to breath.
but then once again the war wages on.

Praise God that with Him, there is victory.
but for now the war wages on.

Peace... is not felt. It is known. I know I have peace that is beyond understanding...
and even if I don't FEEL peace.
I KNOW I have it.

Philippians 4:6-7
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by PRAYER and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Sunday, March 23, 2008


you ever get so caught up in your own life...
worrying about how God is going to fix this or that...
constantly focusing on how you are going to get through the next day?

and then God is like... BLAM!!
He sends you a wake up call.
makes you see that to be like Christ...
is to be selfless.
To not worry about oneself...
but to live for others.
Yes prayer for your own life is important.
But I know I get so caught up in the "woe is me" mantra... so self consumed.

There are hurting people out there.
People that I have direct contact with... that if i would only stop whining about my own life...
i would see their very real pain.
How utterly selfish that I get so blinded with my own cares and concerns...
my life is not bad.
It's great actually.
I am confident in Christ.
I have Hope.
Hope that people need.

God forgive me for not seeing people like you do.
Forgive my selfish "what's in it for me mindset."

Lord change my heart and help me see people the way you do.
Please give me a heart like yours.
A heart for the hurting, lost, and hopeless.

Friday, March 21, 2008

welcome to the bloggisphere...

so today i am trying to get some homework done.
i don't feel like being deep or passionate or doing anything actually...
except maybe jump into my car and take off...
for who knows where.
similar to donald miller in his book Through Painted Deserts.
I am reminded of the words of Brennan Manning in Ragamuffin Gospel:

"In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us- that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people whom God is everything and for whom God is enough. That is the root of peace."