Friday, April 11, 2008

trust... to let go or to hold on

photo credit: rainbowdrop

googled the word trust and came up with an array of different websites from wikipedia to megadeth to some site about Plato.
what i really wanted was a good, quality deifinition of the word.
i guess i needed to be more specific in my searching... "trust definition" rendered me the webster's dictionary site.
perfect! now I was on my way to a quality definition.
do you know that trust is both a noun and a verb?
i tend to think of trust more as a verb:

1 a: to place confidence : depend
b: to be confident : hope
2 a: to commit or place in one's care or keeping : entrust
b: to permit to stay or go or to do something without fear or misgiving
3 a: to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of : believe
b: to place confidence in : rely on
c: to hope or expect confidently
(closely relate words: depend, hope, believe, rely on)

ever met anyone with trust issues?
you know the one who does everything on their own...
someone who doesn't generally take help from people...
struggles with letting someone close to them...
someone who approaches any type of relationship with a leery eye and a pessimistic attitude of abandonment?

i tend to think that to be like this a defense mechanism.
In Proverbs 4:23 it says, "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."
so at some point our heart guard was down... and someone took advantage of that... and hurt was rendered.
and just like any verse in the Bible... this one was accurate.
Your heart truly is the wellspring of life.
Because when that hurt was rendered your whole life fell apart... and deep sorrow replaced any former existence of life.

But perhaps you were like me... and you learned to depend on God and as he promises, restored life to your soul.
And then the trust journey with God begins.
I think thats probably where I am.
Learning what trust really looks like.
Trusting God means to...
depend on Him
hope in the things he has promised
believe that what he says is true
and to rely on Him to guide your steps

how do you know that you are doing these things?
how do you know you are truly trusting God?
I think it comes down to being content.
If I am content in where God has me at the current moment, lacking worry, without anxiety...
if I am not constantly trying to do things on my own and figure it out for myself, then I am trusting him.

so when discontentment fills my heart or when frustration with life's situations takes control of my mind...
i have to let go... i can't hold on to my life, to my worries, to my anxieties.

why is so difficult to let go? so difficult to take the chains off... to embrace freedom?
perhaps the chains are comfortable.. they feel safe and secure.
to be free may feel like you are floundering on your own.
But remember that you are not on your own and that God is in control...
to trust him.


Yvette said...

you nailed it.

i'm seriously so thankful to have you in my life right now... nobody else is willing to share about things like this, and it seems to be the only thing i need to hear. you're great.

p.s. rock harbor's message for sunday is titled "risk, restraint, and resolve"... i think you should come.

kristina said...

its hard for me to be open. thanks for realizing that. i cherish your friendship.