What if we loved?

What interesting concept blogging is.
You could journal... a private conversation between you and God or you and "diary."
Why is it that we feel compelled to write... desiring others to read?
It possibly could be for encouragement... something exciting happened and you want to tell others.
But I don't think that is the root of blogging.
I think it is our innate desire to be recognized... to not feel alone.
We feel we have a connection to the outside world... the internet bloggisphere of human connectivity.
We hold out hope that someone somewhere is reading what we wrote... and emphathizes... connects with us.
The need of human companionship has been in since the beginning.
Even God said, "Man was not meant to be alone."
God out of His great and infinite love created man... companions... something to love and to be loved by.
If we are created in His image... created through His love... a love that had to create in order to be love... we must love.
We need connection.
We need to not feel alone.
Perhaps that is a draw of the facebook and myspace... knowing that at any moment you can log on and not "be alone."
When loneliness clouds your heart and mind.
When you feel so desperately alone...
know that God loves you.
He created you and desires an intimate relationship with you.
It is awful the way we treat each other... how humanity has distorted love.

We murder, lie, steal, manipulate, and destroy... what if we loved?
Children are dying in Africa because they have no food... what if we loved?
Sex trafficking occurs world wide... what God meant as an expression of love... has been turned into a compulsive means of satisfying lust and exerting control over another human being... what if we loved?
Depression is one of the highest reasons for suicide among teens... what if we loved?
Divorce is on the rise... what if we loved?
People visit a church... and are judged for their past, their looks, or their lifestyle... what if we loved?

Christ loved.
He brought hope to needy, hurting, and lonely.
He didn't waste His time catering to the religious.
He discipled the committed.
He devoted his life to the helpless and the trapped.
He sacrificed his life for all... no exceptions... no stipulations.

What if we loved?

When you're too in love to let it go... But if you never try you'll never know"

a random blog for a friend... i think you know who you are.
may these words minister to your soul... and know that I have been there.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
"Just what your worth"

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...


Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...


Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.
~ColdplayWhe

i once had a friend.
he's a writer.
he used to just write down his thoughts.
a stream of consciousness...

the night has fallen.
the freeway in the distance makes a subtle roar.
my thoughts plague me.
awake in the silence of my head.
questions.
shame.
guilt.
discontentment.
my life is a vapor.
time is short.
the dull glow of the screen.
friendly.
lonely.

where do I go from here?

let's dance...

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

refocus...

i had a startling reminder this weekend... that when God and I aren't right... it affects every aspect of my life. God is my foundation... the rock on which my life is built on... how vain am I to think that if I neglect to maintain that foundation that I can hold my life together? When friendships get overwhelming... its prolly because my focus has turned from God as the center. Time to refocus... I need my God-tinted glasses on when I look at the world.

dreams, purpose, reality

At the moment I am sitting at my favorite coffee shop down in Seal Beach. It is a wonderful june gloom morning. I just finished building a sand castle, complete with five towers and a dollar bill flag which I left to see who would take it first: a poor surfer or a curious seagull. My guess is that it will be used to buy a breakfast burrito or something. [By this time you are probably wondering where the point of this blog lies. Don’t worry I will get to that eventually.]
Whether you are working a job or completing summer school, I do encourage you to take some time and enjoy a sunset, hike a mountain, or watch the waves roll in at the ocean. As I have gotten older (22 this month actually) I have realized the importance of taking time to breath in God’s creation. If you are wondering what heaven will be like, just look around at the things that God already created and then imagine that 200 times better. It is also easier to hear God’s voice when we silence the distractions of the world and surround ourselves with peaceful reminders of God’s love. At our age, an important question we are asking, is “why the heck am I here?” What is my purpose? Is there even such a thing as a purpose? People want to know what you are going to do with your life? what are your dreams? And I find myself wondering if the dreams and promises that I feel God has given me will ever happen, or are my dreams wishful whims that exist far from reality?
Do you remember King David from the Bible? Or maybe you know him better as David and Goliath, the boy who slayed the giant. Anyways I was reading through the book of Samuel the other day and God showed me some interesting observations about this young man’s life. First of all, David was the least in his father’s eyes, a Shepard not worthy of even being mentioned to Samuel who came looking to anoint Israel’s new king. David’s father Jesse brought all his brother’s before Samuel, but Samuel after checking all of them out did not hear God’s prodding to anoint them king. When they grabbed David from the field (probably smelling like sheep) Samuel clearly heard God saying that David would be the new king. From that day God placed a dream in David’s heart, a purpose: that he would lead a nation and be king over Israel. I am sure David after a week of going back with the sheep was ready to assume his new leadership role, but instead he tended sheep for years after. Not only that, he was still looked down upon by his brothers and family. Even after David slayed Goliath, his life is was no walk in the park. He still spent years running for his life being hated by current king, who sought to kill David with hateful fervor. He lost his best friend, lived as a refugee, and often had no one there to support him. “David’s position was desperate. He has only one precious asset: God’s promise that he will be king.” I don’t know about you, but I would have given up on that dream and figured God changed his mind or had other plans for me. Perhaps I would have thought up my own way of becoming king. But not david. “Although circumstances tested his faith in that promise to the extreme, David learns to wait for God’s timing. In the end… David inherits the throne of Israel at last.” Although it may have seemed like the dreams David was given by God would never happen, David persevered and continued to have faith. And God never changed his mind, instead he came through on the promise he gave David years before.
At first this story might be kind of depressing to think about. You may be thinking, “does that mean that in order for God to fulfill the dream in my heart I have to go through hell on earth first?” Maybe, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel: God always keeps his promises. If we align ourselves with his word, he will always fulfill the dreams he has placed in our heart, just maybe not the way we think he will. David later writes in one of the many psalms,

Psalm 20

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.

3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah

4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.

5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.

6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.

9 O LORD, save the king!
Answer [a] us when we call!

I don’t know about you, but I know that God is in control and that is enough for me to keep pressing on.

prayer...

This weekend something I have been praying about turned out in my favor. My instant reaction is... "God answers prayer!" But as I have been thinking about it I have come to realize that God always answers prayer.... it just may not turn out the way we thought it would. How selfish am I only to thank God for "answering prayer" when it turns out my way? If I only I could see clearly all the time, and give God the thanks He deserves just for being who He is...

"Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchlessin every way."

father we will lead them home...

There are many prodigal sons
On our city streets they run
Searching for shelter
There are homes broken down
People’s hopes have fallen to the ground
From failures

This is an emergency!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

There are schools full of hatred
Even churches have forsaken
Love and mercy
May we see this generation
In it’s state of desperation
For Your glory

This is an emergency!

Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!

And all Your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

~Leeland; "Tears of the Saints"

i walk down another street...

taken from a friend who is learning to avoid the chasm that so easily consumes.

Autobiography In Five Short Chapters

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

- Portia Nelson

it's easier to be broken...

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the scar that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Like being in love to feel for the first time

Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Like being in love to feel for the first time

~lifehouse; "first time"

myanmar...

Matthew 25:31-46
31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' 37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' 40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' 41 "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' 44 "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' 45 "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' 46 "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

unwritten day...

the sun is breaking
a deep crisp air envelopes
the dark gloomy skies

my heart is restless
a new week is dawning
it is yet to be written

the sand is sifting
waiting to be turned
but before it empties
new lessons will be learned

***************

"This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 118:24

powerful potent purple berries...

i tried this smoothie thing the other day...
ya pretty much almost died!
my chest started hurting... and my throat felt like it was swelling.
lesson learned: no more berry drinks from the amazon!

numb...

"for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

oh there was an action... a very strong action.
and then there was a reaction.
my reaction.
first pain.
then heartache.
then...
then...
numbness.
i thought i was healed.
i thought it was over...
but i think i merely numbed the pain.
because now i don't feel.
i feel nothing at all... except this numbing sensation that won't go away.
it's time to let go.
it's time to heal.
i want to love...
a deep soulful love.
i want to cry...
a cry from the heart...
the heart i don't feel.
i want to laugh...
till i can't even stand.
the feelings are gone...
they don't even sting.
Lord... am i numb to you to?
restore my emotion...
restore my heart.
it is out of my grasp...
the desire is there.
i just can't reach it on my own.
it's time to peel back the layers...
and expose the raw.
i want to be real.
wash over me with Your love.
so that i may heal.

progress and then some

"We've all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then go to go forward does not get you any nearer to the place you where you want to be. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man... there is nothing progressive about being pig headed and refusing to admit a mistake."
~C.S. Lewis; Mere Christianity
How many times have i kept going in the same direction, stayed the course on the same path, when I knew I was making a mistake but going back would have been too difficult? How many opportunities did I miss out on because I was spending so much time on the wrong road? I think back tracking can be humbling... but then again we want to progress on our journey... we often want to go forward, but as Lewis said, progress means going forward in the RIGHT direction, not just going forward.

happy 100 blog views...

so i guess my blog has been viewed 100 times... 20 of which have been my own. haha.
but anyways. cheers to blogging! today was a good day.

God is constantly reminding me of His love and the importance of my relationship with Him.


"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise"

~Hillsong United; From the Inside Out

the root of peace...

"In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us- that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people whom God is everything and for whom God is enough. That is the root of peace."
~Brennan Manning; The Ragamuffin Gospel

Do you ever wonder why we pray? I mean if God is already in charge and looking out for our best interest, why do we have to ask? I think prayer is really for us... not for God. He already knows our hearts. But when we leave our cares and concerns at his feet, it frees us up to serve him and also leaves room for him to prove himself all the more faithful in our lives.

the joy of being a kid...

bubble guns.
sippy cups.
sidewalk chalk.
dragon slayers and princesses.
storybooks.
hide 'n' seek.
today was a good day.
(:

how far we've come...

So April 2007 of last year...seems like a decade ago. I was browsing through old photos and realizing what I different place I am in today. I was weak and frail... and very broken a year ago. I had no idea who I was or even where I was headed. I didn't have time to think about others because I was too busy worrying about myself. Its humbling to reflect and see the change that God has done in my heart this last year... last two years. Not only has he picked up the pieces, put it back together, but he has transformed it as well. I am not weak anymore... because he is my strength. I am broken, but not the same way I was before. I know who I am in Christ. And although I may not always know where I am headed, I have purpose and a passion to live that was not there before. I will be the first to testify to the fact that God knows our hearts better than we do. He knows what we need when we need it. And he also has the power to pull us through the deepest darkest parts of depression. When you are weak and your soul feels all alone... and the darkness overwhelms you... hold on to the Hope we have in Jesus. Don't let it go... you may feel like there is no end... like death has encompassed your heart... but just remember the battle has already been won! Death has been overcome...

Romans 8:37
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."

become aware...